a view with a pair of clear lens

Its something that I have observed out of my personal experience - whenever I am terribly sick, to the extent that I am confined to my bed, I begin to think and see things clearly. I am no longer concerned with what others might think - I just don't care. Although not in a continuous stream, the visions of yellow, red and green - amidst all these colorful stage, suddenly the truth confronts me, and most often it is of the manner - what the fuck am I doing ? (in an all encompassing sort of way)

Its hard to break away from such stand-offs. And at the same time it is hard to answer such a question.

I have always hated and still hate the facade that one envelops oneself with. I understand its necessity in the survival of modern life. But it is needless anywhere else. It is so damn hard to see through this fake shield. However, its all pervading. One is only concerned with how to get their work done with ease and depict an image of being an ideal well-wisher. I sincerely wish that all such damned creatures end up rotting in hell - in eternal tyranny.

With each passing day, I feel the necessity of moving to an alternate world where people still have faith and hope to believe in. I would really like to believe in what George Harrison said

“Sunrise doesn't last all morning, a cloudburst doesn't last all day, seems my love is up and has left you with no warning. It's not always going to be this grey. All things must pass, all things must pass away.”

Enjoy the Ride

Traveling is something that I have grown to like. Family trips were never a common phenomenon and neither is it now. Well that is how things stand.

However, a lot has changed in the intervening years. For the greater part of the last six years has been spent in hostel rooms densely filled with smoke, in lodges at the most unlikeliest of places and in hotels with varying reputes. But there is no denying that traveling has a charm of its own.

In traveling, one is presented with the rare opportunity of coming across people of all kinds - replete with their customs, beliefs and idiosyncrasies. Sometimes it also serves as a platform for a quick reality check where often our ingrained conception are proved to be weak or even baseless.

Apart from these, traveling is also a pleasurable experience. There is nothing like a long drive down the highway, with the road signs and markers passing by in a haze and the long winding road stretching ahead. A good company surely boosts the entire experience.

The most recent of my escapades was to the holy city of Tirupati, to the Venkatachalam hills that form a part of the seven hills at Tirumala. Situated at a distance of just over 150 kms from Chennai, it is easily accessible by trains, buses and cars. To begin with the road was excellent and the car was even better. We drove at over 80 kms an hour on an average for the entire length of the trip. Most importantly I was amidst people with whom I could really be me.

Since I am not keen about either architecture or religious sentiments, I would rather skip those unessentials wilfully. However, in passing I would say that the temples have become more of a money making engine than anything else, thriving on milking the emotional setiments (or weaknesses) of the people. As I write this, I fail to conceive in my wildest imagination of a god who weighs the living kingdom by how much riches they are able to offer. To me it is just insane.

So it naturally follows that more than the puja (or the darshan as it is called) I liked the wonderful journey with the people whom I know almost since childhood. I am also certain that this time spent together will surely not fade away from our proximate memories.

along the long road and on down the causeway

sometimes i wonder what we are all made of. besides the flesh and blood, there is something elusive. its hard to define. some occasions cheer us, others tear us apart. but we move on or at least try to.

if it is happiness that we should pursue, its the most simple and the completely regular that moves me. things that others would consider as normal are the ones that brings a smile amidst the most trying times. a good laugh, a friendly chat, a hearty meal, a warm smile, a lovely track, a good read and a refreshing bath. i wudn't consider the list to be comprehensive but surely it covers quite a bit.

at times, and more often recently, i have a feeling that i am getting used to an alternative life, one where expectations and their realizations vary widely, where the simplest things get harder and harder to find. where it is easier to lose sanity and join them. its a place where things fall short of matching up.

i do not dismiss the possibility that i might be devoting too much time imagining things rather than on action which might bring change for the better. probably i should do just that.

missing home and friends

I have never been able to pin-point as to why I love Kolkata so much. There is no singular overbearing reason for that I suppose. But thinking about this cosmopolitan city always brings me comfort and leaves me with a warm and dreamy memory of its people and places.

Its been some time that I have been staying outside of the city, almost about six years now. However, the charm is still as new. I distinctly remember the train rides back home from Pune. Although it was an arduous 32 hours journey, I always enjoyed it especially the last leg, when at the break of dawn, I could view the lush green from my window seat. The gentle sway of the train, the morning mist and dew, and an accompanying cup of piping hot tea served in bhar - all filled (and still fills) my heart with inexpressible joys. Then the characteristic black and yellow taxi ride back home, crossing over the Howrah bridge with the swirling Ganges flowing underneath, right through the Park Street crossing, Gariahat and Jadavpur. I would always wait for such journeys taking me back home.

I have always felt that the people there are filled to the brim with emotions and sentiments (me included, but not quite to the brim). Extremely possessive about their thoughts and ideals, but carrying enough justification to support their view. Its a place with such terrific warmth that I haven't been able to find an equal. It is possible that I have an extremely biased opinion, but I really can't help.

I miss the long, bordering on the lines of meaninglessness addas, where we would voice our uncensored opinions and would even get beaten in a friendly sort of way for being extremely stern and stubborn. And it would go on and on till we would be utterly exhausted.

I utterly and completely miss bhapa ilish, aloo posto, murighonto.........rosogolla, rabri, chanar polao,mishti doi.................... - the list just goes on. Maybe i'll write about the food some other time.

Another essential element in the life of any Bengali is the Durga Puja. Celebrated in the month of September-October, this festival brings in a deluge of Bengalis and people from other communities from across the globe. Its a time when one forgets for those five days starting from shoshti, all griefs and sufferings no matter how intense and joins in the procession where people from all castes and from all strata of the social fabric rub their shoulders together to get a glimpse of the godess Durga. Donned with the newest clothes of the season, Kolkata becomes a virtual fairyland.

One can find the young and the old jostling together in mirth and enjoyment. Its also the time for young love to foster. Its a time of the year when we lose track of time and space and converge to that one point of happiness.

I am sure that this is not the end of what I love; in fact it would be unjust if even I would attempt to put everything down into writing.

--

Well the clock is ticking away, and Kenny G can't hold me on any longer too.

Another week starts today, and there is work to be done. Without a television I will be missing the IPL too, damn it. Since am not going to SA, all plans of being in the stadium and watching a couple of matches have been watered. The elections better be good this time!

Office-Office

Thats my work space in Chennai,


where apart from some serious brainstorming I sometimes end up doing things like this;



and dream of epic journeys and carefree road trips.



I need to go home soon, and above all the Bengali New Year or Poila Boisakh as we call it is just round the corner. Will be missing it again :(

Sometimes I am convinced that I am in love with the City of Joy.

Saturday blues

Its Monday again and the weekend is technically over. A couple of hours and I would be expected to mark my presence at office with all its everyday rigours. But what a weekend it was - something that I had been missing for quite a long time now. Now that the weeked is gone, I thought that the best way to preserve it would be to write about it,.

At the railway station where we parted not with watery eyes but definitely with a heavy heart and a sense of hope that we will be able to meet up soon, again. The months prior to this haven't been too good. With unexpected reactions from people whom I really thought of as a very good friend, I was forced to put a lot of thinking behind the probable cause(s) of such behaviour. But the deeper I got into, the more perplexing it became; and a time came when I thought it best to just let it go.

Enough of wondering about. So am rewinding back to the evening of 10th.

10 th April, Friday

Its about 7:30 pm and with bags packed we wait impatiently to get out of office as soon as we can. Plans have already been made to be at the Marina beach within an hours time. And so we did, although with the usual mix of delay and confusion. Dinner followed at one of the roof-top restaurants - my first. It was actually a pretty wonderful place where one could watch the planes flying past and disappear into the distant starred horizon along with a nicely served North-Indian meal. As expected, time flew by, and we had to head home.

11th April, Saturday

morning

Its Jan's b'day. For those who haven't met Jan yet it would suffice to know that she is the most talkative person I have ever come across so far, she never really gives you an opportunity to talk. With an overwhelming energy she can yap till the end of the day. However the best part is she talks a lot of sense too. With the day growing brighter, one by one friends poured in - from Mumbai and Bangalore. Ahh, what a pleasure it is to have so many vibrant individuals at the same time and place.

Well thats the b'day cake below. Wondering why two candles, well there is a story behind that too, but that would be a gross diversion.


Amidst the happy b'day tune she made her wish, blew the candles and cut the cake.



Thats our MSE gang - mostly back benchers and acknowledged procrastinators (and thats the house I live in btw).



11th April, Saturday

afternoon

Another frantic round of planning and we ended up at VGP (heres the link to the resort). Thankfully, the weather was kind. With a not so sunny day and a relatively cool breeze, we set out for VGP, a resort about 40 kms from Chennai city. The picture below was shot in front of one of the several wonderfully crafted structures along the entire resort. Pretty amazing work !



Time for lunch:

-thats Kar getting us our lunch - a Godzilla dosa (thats what menu card read) -


The Beach

For those who would rather believe that am bluffing wen I say that the weather was really great on a summer day, the picture says it all (I assure you that its not doctored).



And here are some more pictures of us at the resort :

- at the beach -



- an excited BD before the crash -


- go Divya go !! -


The entire day spent at the resort was extremely exhausting yet equally enjoyable. And then were was the scheduled travel plans of people heading home. So without wasting much time we came back, had a nice dinner and it was time again for some of us to get back to the schedules of everyday lives.

Well, the weekend didn't end there. Sunday was equally exciting. But more of it some other time.