the end of an episode and the beginning of another..

Two long years in MSE gone in a flash. Its hard to think of a life where a lot of people who you care about wudn be around, but thats life, isn it? I still remember the first day in chennai, and the amount of apprehension that i carried with me. A different place surrounded by different people speaking in an incomprehensible language. But looking back from where i stand now, everything seems so distinctly varied from my expectations and fears. This place has been really kind to me and actually i have nothing to complain except perhaps the mess food (damn u Ramdas!!).

A bunch of friends, lots of time to spend away from academics - its like an oasis in a parched desert. This place has also taught me things far beyond academics. The simple pleasures of life needs to be cherished, to have the sense to be able to accept that not all people are the person you actually perceive them to be, that Adam Smith was right (again) - its not the benevolence but the self-interest that runs this world. How true it is . As the day nears when we will no more be campus residents at MSE, and the curtains would be drawn on this wonderful episode, i happen to feel that burden deep inside me again. Would the ouside world be as good and forgiving as the secure life we have had? However, what i can say is only this - i have become wiser, more acceptable to the persisting shades of grey, and rediscovering that hearts of gold still exists.

As one says, time is the greatest teacher - and now i understand (to some extent) that there are certain things that one comes to know only when one needs to. I do not believe in a divine plan of some sort - only that whatever one does comes back to them in some form.

a miniscule speck

have you ever been jarred up from a thought and found yourself to be the most miniscule element in the whole universe? Consciousness is but a state of the mind. Then again one can be just self conscious or be conscious about the feelings of the others or about what others might be feeling towards them.

Sometimes i ponder as to whether a certain situation can actually change the perception that one has about others, especially those whom you think are close to you, or would it actually be an over exaggeration of the feeling? But having taken a decision its hard to roll back. What i may consider as naturally follows might not hold true at all, but eventually we have to come to a settlement with ourselves. I wish i was as smart as some of the others regarding this. So eventually it boils down to having an expectation and then the consequent realization or not of that expectation. Its the clinging to something that lies at the heart of its undoing.

It is here, i think, that individualism has its roots, a concept of a unique identity, and this is perhaps what makes this life so interesting, if not worth living. The very fact that there always lies something beyond the known leads us to the quest of the unfathomable - an arena where reason meets myth, head on.

when the OS gets u...

for the past couple of days, the better part of my time has been spent on tweaking my system with completely harmless motives. Based on these recent experiences there is a suggestion that i would like to make to all those in doubt "do not buy a Vista with 512 MB RAM" its a complete waste of your precious resource if you want to do something more than word processing. So you can do one of the two things

• buy a Mac, or
• put some more RAM, which needs more cash with no guarantee of a splendid performance.
  

my machine needs an urgent upgradation, wish i could relax my budget constraint a bit..!!

amra bhishon eka.....

amra bhison eka bachbo ki bachbona, sapno jabe to dekha
amra bhison eka bachbo ki bachbona, marudyan ki pabo na......
CACTUS

thats the eternal question with which we are all plagued with....life thows at us events which can only be analysed after its realization....so the dilemma is, in this world full of uncertainties, how do we chose the ideal path, is there a clue hidden beneath the surface, would we attain the goals which we have in mind...well, that pretty much summarises my state of mind (and if i may be considered as a representative agent, i expect a lot of us to think on similar lines)...or are such speculations merely baseless and one should take life the way it comes, one step at a time....i think there should be a trade-off between the two....but then again, where do we draw the line..??

Pitter Patter raindrops....

hop skip n splash.....thats what comes to my mind on any given rainy day - and the strange thing is - it has always been like this. As the drizzles turn into heavy showers and then back into trickles, my mind wonders to the pure innocence of such wanderings. Sitting beside the window and gazing relentlessly at the distant lands as everything seems to be enveloped in a misty cloak. People dashing here and there searching for cover, kids dancing with their friends being as happy as ever to jump into the puddles and tasting the purest form of water (thats one of the first things I learnt in social science classes), their parents getting bewildered at such inconceivable actions, and the lazy cow happily chewing cud in the middle of the street.

Rains create an opportunity for all of us to escape and stealthily slip back, if only for a moment, to our childhood - the days of unfettered,unhindered and limitless fun. Its the time for the bashful lover to gaze into the eyes of his beloved, hoping that this time would endure forever. Its the time for colourful umbrellas to make their presence felt yet again, after being locked up in the cupboard for quite sometime. But as the dark clouds become lighter and gradually clear away, life falls back to its normal stride once again. Having washed all the accumulated dust and grime, its time for us to start afresh, with renewed vigour - to cherish whatever simple pleasures this mortal existence has in store.

coping with multiple selves....

Is it not evitable that a person although having a single body infact has multiple selves? It can take varied forms depending on where the person sees him/her in society and also very much upon the idiosyncrasies that one can be attached with. But if we are a mere aggregation of these bits and pieces, how can we get to the core? or can we? This leads us evidently to the question: who decides the choice of the selves at any point in time give any situation? Is this what we commonly refer to as character and what is it that prevents it from being volatile? if whatever we do can actually be seen as a stimuli-response system, are we actually nearing a point where our activities can be codified and with some effort even predicted? Sounds pretty grim to me..........